Sunday, May 12, 2013

My Charm Bracelet

Well, the other day I decided to wear my charm bracelet.  It matched my outfit but as I looked at it, I took a trip down memory lane.  My Aunt gave it to me for my baby shower more than two years ago.  The moment in my life when everything was about to change.  I was going to be a mom.  

Before having Cindy I had these visions of what kind of mom I would be.  You know, the picture perfect one.  Let's just say I didn't live up to those expectations and going through this toddler phase always has me wondering if I am a good mom.  [Having a two year old is not easy folks.] 

There are times when I lose my patience.  Moments I yell.  Actions I regret.  Missed opportunities, wishing I could have a re-do.  Days when I think I'm going to loose my mind from all the whining.  The never ending repetition of mom, mom, mom.  My heart harbors doubts.  I have fears. All these moments that I didn't expect two years ago when I looked down at that same bracelet with my big belly.   

 Being a mom wasn't exactly what I imagined it would be.  There are good times and bad.  It's changed me, made me stronger, a little less selfish, a little more patient and it's given me this love that I never knew before.... the love of a mother.  

 I am not the perfect mom and that's okay.  There is only one thing for sure that I know I am doing right and that's loving her.  With every hug, every kiss, when we smile together and laugh, when we sing and play.  She knows that I love her.  Through all the mistakes I have made at the end of the day she knows, she knows that I love her.  I can't picture my life without her.  Some days I can't even picture what is was like before her.

 She'll always be my little Boo Bear and I will always be her mommy. 

Happy Mother's Day to all you lovely mamas out there.  

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